a propos of nothing, i had occasion to revisit that intrepid investigator of parliamentary corruption guido fawkes. quite why i visited the first time i don’t know, as it’s a place calculated to raise my blood pressure in a most worrying fashion.
however, it dawned on me that for the first time in history, there clearly aren’t any scandals involving the conservative party, because the site is entirely taken up with tales of naughtiness from the ghastly commie pinko faggot subversives in power (c.2/3) and the pathetic pseudo-commie pinko faggot subversive libdems. what a coincidence…
he says bad nick clegg (’cleggover’ tee-hee) used to be a conservative - but i thought he liked conservatives. it’s just too much for this addled brain. if so he must be the first and last member of the acne-ridden cambridge university conservative association to get their end away.
he trots out his ’son of immigrants’ past (file under strawman arguments with: ‘i have black friends, you know’ and its false syllogism of ‘can’t be a racist then’) in order to support some frothing brilliance of boris’s about taking the vote away from illegal imigrants (i think that was it; rather busy trying to keep the vomit off my keyboard) tho i wasn’t aware they were on the electoral role anyway.
just warming up now…
see also iain dale, although at least he has the grace to make no pretence at impartiality. it may be my age catching up with me but i was sure i saw him on the box with a truly horrendous dye job - the sort of red that might have looked unconvincing on a ford fiesta. or maybe that was another of ‘em - i really have lost it now! i apologise unreservedly if that wasn’t him. even a tory shouldn’t have had to carry the can for a ‘do like that.
his blog proudly quotes someone (oddly enough a conservative…) saying he’s wittier than the average tory - high praise indeed - should perhaps have added that he’s warmer than liquid oxygen.
at least the ‘humour’ section won’t get sued for misrepresentation: there’s a great story from an ‘acquaintance’ who went to tesco with his wife (not a sad lonely tosser at all then) and was forced (probably at gunpoint)(by an immigrant i wouldn’t wonder)(not a racist though - family owns several black people) to have his few items wastefully packed: ‘We came out laden with five bags to do what two bags would have previously done!’…
‘What on earth is the logic behind this decision?’, bleats mr dale impotently, though he refrains from telling the daft bastard to pack his own fucking shopping.
it’s like the daily mail - just free!
thank god my mate big dave is doing his bit with a wind turbine - can’t imagine why everyone doesn’t get one. you rock, big d!
another inhabitant of that same shitty bucket, the mighty boris, was on telly yesterday - spoke for about 5 minutes and you couldn’t actually work out whether he’d said anything. well no; you could and he hadn’t - he just works his jaw like a goldfish on ecstasy in a cheap wig and nothing but bubbles emerge. guido compares him to (wait for it) ronald reagan. at least we agree about something!
boris was however fortunate to have a ringing endorsement on the spectator website. i reckon he must know someone…
coverage of the poole secret surveillance scandal now (pooleschoolfoolgate) by one of the tory commentators - i apologise for not accusing them individually but i’m so busy frothing now they merge into a rancid heap of hate. he manages simultaneously to blame tony, gordon and labour’s culture of paranoia and fail to mention poole’s a tory council. some comments were even posted to that effect but went unnoticed in the maelstrom of blather about 1984 (not again). one comment i particularly liked was the person who assumed it was a labour council because the bbc (see under ‘commie pinko faggot subversive’ above) was silent on the point (in their desperation to manipulate the news for gordon…). they obviously hadn’t managed to work out you can spend 7.4 seconds on google and find out. even the bbc could probably manage that - though not the individual posting the comment. hard to type with hooves i guess…
and while i’m on one, pope ratzie couldn’t work out why catholic priests who were meant to ‘heal’ and spread ‘love of the god’ (bless him and his crap english - every other bloody german speaks it better than wot we do fgs) would abuse children. what’s a chap to do, eh? wonder if there’s someone in charge of the church who could have a word…
there we are. all better now. i’ll be doing requests later if anyone wants…