notes from national failure week

dear dave,

you can take that f***ing stupid flag down now, you old tosser.

love simply.

dear simps,

defeat not our fault; rather a necessary evil forced upon us by the general mismanagement of everything by the previous government. however because of our fair and necessary action in losing 4-1 to germany, team now on track to win the world cup this year.

and anyway, it is our all-conquering national cricket team in whose honour i am, and always was, flying the flag. go captain peterthing!

big d

ps portobello star at 8?

hey dave

as ever i am indebted to you for your clear logic; i had thought for a misguided moment it was a national disaster caused by your greed.


ps: tell that daft ***** sam to look where she is going – she nearly mowed down the wife and kids yesterday in that vast environment-destroying chelsea tractor that appears still to be your car of choice. thought you had gone faux green? or did you lose it when they said you couldn’t have the windmill and decide to punish the planet?

pps: star at 8 fine as ever.

ppps: any idea on the price on aus winning last two one dayers?


simps, you jolly japester. what do they expect me to do? go round london by bike?? what sort of twat does that???

8 it is then. (bring your wallet, i’m saving for a pension)



yo d!

household income 20k – gideon stole the child tax credit and the borough have chipped in by taking away free swimming for my kids. bolly’s on you or it’s two pints of tap water.


ps if you have a spare pot, i’m dying for a piss


13 responses to “notes from national failure week

  1. Masterly. I may have to put this up…

  2. *preens*

    my dear rabbit, you are welcome to put it up anything you like. (ya weirdo).

  3. came over from the rabbit’s place, sugar, just to check y’all out! 😉 good show! xoxoxo

  4. how very lovely to have visitors; and from across the pond!!!!

    just a word of caution: if you see posts that look like a bigoted rant against anyone from … oh, say … i don’t know … america for example and how they are without exception evil and horrid… you may want to save yourself the bother of reading them.

    but welcome… *looks a bit embarassed about his bigotry*

  5. oh that’s ok, sugar! i live in the south, so i talk about yankees and the british all the time! bless your heart, but i think we all get along jes fine! xoxo ;~)

  6. Gosh I go away for a bit SW and you write three whole posts. Apparently meltdown is expected soonish anyway in the ConDem paradise (Paul the octopus told me).

  7. Did you know Sam’s dad makes £10 million a year off wind farms?

  8. polly – my favourite guest! you should do me a guest post to raise the tone. anything you like as long as it’s about the new assault on the fabric of the lives of us ordinary folk by the tories.

    no idea her dad did that; i presume he has merely harnessed osbore and is watching the pounds flood in. he should beware – i am certain there is toxic leakage from him that is threatening the lives of many around these islands. kill that well, i say!

  9. Well I’m just waiting to be made redundant at the mo, it can’t be long. I will write you something from the gutter which is my new residence when my house gets repossessed.

  10. Here you go it says it’s ‘only’ 3.5 million here though I’m sure I read it was 10 million elsewhere…

  11. Has anyone yet noticed the resemblance of Dave to Hitler? Next time, mentally transpose the Hitler trademark moustache and the hat onto him. You will be amazed. He has the same stingy mean little mouth that Hitler had, and after all, he’s going to get rid of all the old, sick, and generally unworthy in his own special unique way, and will call it, “Labour Cuts” (don’t blame us, we’re only doing because Labour fkd it up – WTF???) or “Handing Responsibility Back to Individuals” or some shit like that.

    Late 80’s??? That was a trip around Disneyland compared to what the Shitler has got planned.

    You can tell my feelings are ambivalent.

  12. ps – stunning posts SW – I am not worthy

  13. even without that kind comment, it’s fab to have the pukemeistress back!

    i love the smell of puke in the morning…

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