the diggers are on the front lawn

a bunch of weirdies are currently on the lawn at parliament.

this is very bad.

you can see the sort of thing they are on about here (careful – some of them look smelly and ready to bring western capitalism crashing to the ground):

(sadly, i am still too luddite to know how to insert a proper link.)

our gallant mayor has ridden to our aid against these modern-day diggers (don’t his sort always?). he has attempted to evict them.

the villagers are claiming the space isn’t his anyway and he can sod off. (trust me to boil it down for my tired and frankly dim readership)

counsel for boris claims the reason he wants them gone is so that ‘the majority’ (which would appear in this case to mean ‘anyone but these damnable sansculottes’ and thus presumably including me) can use the space for whatever it’s meant to be used for including peaceful protest.

so (and stop me if i am going too fast/weird for you) the mayor wishes to evict this minority of protesters so that we the majority can …errr… protest. despite the fact that we have no apparent desire to protest there just now.

rigggggght. so the people who do want to protest have to bugger off in case the people who don’t want to protest do want to protest. i’m not sure whether this is straight out of kafka, alice in wonderland or dippy the trippy snail’s short guide to democracy, but it sure as shit ain’t making a lot of sense to me just yet. unlike dippy who is clear and lucid even if she can’t cover more than 2’6″ a week at full throttle.

now the less imaginative amongst us may say this is simply shite logic (and they may have a point cos frankly it smells reminiscent of shite). however, me being me, this has got me thinking….

first up, as i don’t want to go and protest about anything right now i have emailed the democracy village to say they can have my slot. not that i ain’t grateful to the mayor for protecting my own right to protest. friend of democracy an all that. must mention that to the police next time i’m there.

and never one to neglect an opportunity for a bit of ad hoc capitalism on the hoof, maybe we could develop a protest trading market – a bit like emissions trading. if you, as a fully-paid-up member of ‘the majority’ don’t want your allocated protest slot (i guess the mayor has a list in his office or something – probably best just to ring him up and check) then you can trade it (or if you are some lefty freak, give it free *shudder*) to someone who does.

might even be a bit of cash in it for the lazy left as they flog fathers4justice or the bnp their slots while staying at home themselves watching the world cup and drinking gassy lager. or poorer protesters could take the 4am slots (bound to be less popular) cash in their peak times and combine protest with making a bit on the side. goddess bless mighty capitalism, the true mother of invention!


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