no, i lied – it’s about g20.
now i like an acronym as much as the next person.
assuming the next person spent three years at university buggering about, getting up late and reading the occasional book, as opposed to doing a real degree like law where you were supposed to end up knowing stuff. or – gawd help us all – just got a bloody job when they left school. (shudder – more than 20 years and i’m still valiantly managing not to achieve what some real people did aged 16).
‘flotus’ doesn’t mean something that got chucked off a boat or even a fart in the bath (unlike edward woodward). it would appear to mean ‘first lady of the united states.’ michelle o (not the big o), the lady who asserted her importance in a truly feminist way by telling barry (he and i tell jokes about how stuffy big dave is) to get the hell out of her closet. (no snidey jokes please; snickering about homosexuality hasn’t been mistaken for funny since 1979). (actually i’m not sure i have been mistaken for funny since about 1979 either but hey…)
now both the things i know about flotus have been culled from reclusive leftist (one of the best blogs in this life and the afterlife – but how can you not know?) so i must simultaneously acknowledge the great and truly learned dr socks as my educator and spare her any responsibility for the views that follow.
it’s never good when the heads of the g20 nations descend, the good the bad and silvio berlusconi. but what makes it almost the equivalent of hearing that the place where you live has been chosen to host a garden festival (consett and ebbw vale were the first two in britain – you with me now?) is that with these overdressed monkeys come the wags. partners you imagine have something better to do with their lives than get stuck in london’s traffic have to hug each other, pose for photos and errr well that’s about it really cos they are 95% women (apparently herr merkel found something to do and we do hope it wasn’t downloading tedious ‘adult’ (oh please) features on expenses). so what did they do? they shopped and went to the opera.
well fuck that.
how much more proof is needed that the world continues to view women as some kind of designer accompaniment to us, the men what make everything happen (hmmm credit crunch? nice work, us!)? of course herr merkel is a quantum chemist and looks dreadful in floaty floral prints, so had to miss this beeno. angela also feared he would be embarassingly ignorant on the subject of eyeshadow and urged him to stay at home lest she be shown up. it could have been his unconvincingly-dyed hair and there at least, i agree, ange has a point.
however, michelle o (short for ‘oh for fucksake’) did not fritter away her time here in the uk. she chose to visit a school and talk to some female pupils. feminists may briefly take their heads from their hands – she urged the benefits of education and the role of women as leaders of a society (in a metaphorical sense, you assume). but she said lots of good stuff about being all they could be. she went on to say (re-insert heads in hands and assume brace position) she had met some truly inspirational women while in britain: there was the queen, sarah brown and … maggie darling, all of whom were doing great work. now you may be scratching your heads (makes a change from banging them against the brick wall). i was.
even i remember who the queen is. i can spot sarah brown as gordon’s other half, but it took me a moment to make the logical leap that maggie darling is alistair darling’s wife. now, she is a journalist and has the misfortune to be labelled as feisty (ohmigod, scary – woman with a job) – and mrs o may or may not know she seems generally to be referred to as maggie vaughan (i’m not going to lambast her for that – i didn’t know either). none of that is particularly important.
what does strike me as significant is that the only people michelle was allowed to meet were other women (though probably not merkel as she’s busy talking serious stuff with the boys). and the role models she chose for the young women she urged to build our future were: one who matters by dint of being someone’s daughter and two who are someone’s wife. i’m sorry if she really is some kind of burning feminist beacon but ffs, why didn’t she just add some pole dancers and glamour models while she was at it? still, i imagine her dress looked nice.
i was reassured to hear one of the girls wasn’t too sure what the queen did (join the club) knew sarah brown but was totally in the dark about maggie darling. should go far.