semi-coherent rant about ‘them’ again (just ignore him)

a propos of nothing, i had occasion to revisit that intrepid investigator of parliamentary corruption guido fawkes. quite why i visited the first time i don’t know, as it’s a place calculated to raise my blood pressure in a most worrying fashion.

however, it dawned on me that for the first time in history, there clearly aren’t any scandals involving the conservative party, because the site is entirely taken up with tales of naughtiness from the ghastly commie pinko faggot subversives in power (c.2/3) and the pathetic pseudo-commie pinko faggot subversive libdems. what a coincidence…

he says bad nick clegg (‘cleggover’ tee-hee) used to be a conservative – but i thought he liked conservatives. it’s just too much for this addled brain. if so he must be the first and last member of the acne-ridden cambridge university conservative association to get their end away.
he trots out his ‘son of immigrants’ past (file under strawman arguments with: ‘i have black friends, you know’ and its false syllogism of ‘can’t be a racist then’) in order to support some frothing brilliance of boris’s about taking the vote away from illegal imigrants (i think that was it; rather busy trying to keep the vomit off my keyboard) tho i wasn’t aware they were on the electoral role anyway.

just warming up now…
see also iain dale, although at least he has the grace to make no pretence at impartiality. it may be my age catching up with me but i was sure i saw him on the box with a truly horrendous dye job – the sort of red that might have looked unconvincing on a ford fiesta. or maybe that was another of ’em – i really have lost it now! i apologise unreservedly if that wasn’t him. even a tory shouldn’t have had to carry the can for a ‘do like that.
his blog proudly quotes someone (oddly enough a conservative…) saying he’s wittier than the average tory – high praise indeed – should perhaps have added that he’s warmer than liquid oxygen.

at least the ‘humour’ section won’t get sued for misrepresentation: there’s a great story from an ‘acquaintance’ who went to tesco with his wife (not a sad lonely tosser at all then) and was forced (probably at gunpoint)(by an immigrant i wouldn’t wonder)(not a racist though – family owns several black people) to have his few items wastefully packed: ‘We came out laden with five bags to do what two bags would have previously done!’…

‘What on earth is the logic behind this decision?’, bleats mr dale impotently, though he refrains from telling the daft bastard to pack his own fucking shopping.

it’s like the daily mail – just free!

thank god my mate big dave is doing his bit with a wind turbine – can’t imagine why everyone doesn’t get one. you rock, big d!
another inhabitant of that same shitty bucket, the mighty boris, was on telly yesterday – spoke for about 5 minutes and you couldn’t actually work out whether he’d said anything. well no; you could and he hadn’t – he just works his jaw like a goldfish on ecstasy in a cheap wig and nothing but bubbles emerge. guido compares him to (wait for it) ronald reagan. at least we agree about something!

boris was however fortunate to have a ringing endorsement on the spectator website. i reckon he must know someone…

coverage of the poole secret surveillance scandal now (pooleschoolfoolgate) by one of the tory commentators – i apologise for not accusing them individually but i’m so busy frothing now they merge into a rancid heap of hate. he manages simultaneously to blame tony, gordon and labour’s culture of paranoia and fail to mention poole’s a tory council. some comments were even posted to that effect but went unnoticed in the maelstrom of  blather about 1984 (not again). one comment i particularly liked was the person who assumed it was a labour council because the bbc (see under ‘commie pinko faggot subversive’ above) was silent on the point (in their desperation to manipulate the news for gordon…). they obviously hadn’t managed to work out you can spend 7.4 seconds on google and find out. even the bbc could probably manage that – though not the individual posting the comment. hard to type with hooves i guess…

and while i’m on one,  pope ratzie couldn’t work out why catholic priests who were meant to ‘heal’ and spread ‘love of the god’ (bless him and his crap english – every other bloody german speaks it better than wot we do fgs) would abuse children. what’s a chap to do, eh? wonder if there’s someone in charge of the church who could have a word…

there we are. all better now. i’ll be doing requests later if anyone wants…


28 responses to “semi-coherent rant about ‘them’ again (just ignore him)

  1. did you lose your caps key? And no my hair isn’t dyed. If it was, it wouldn’t be this grey…

  2. welcome iain and thanks for dropping in.

    don’t generally use caps as i don’t like ’em. think i used them in quoting, though. not that accuracy is necessarily a strong point. and my ‘sentences’ aren’t always sentences, either; part of my endearing house style that my many readers love so much. (i got a degree in words – honest – and occasionally people pay me to write stuff. fools!)

    apologies for the defamatory hair accusation! (to be fair to my limited grasp on logic, i didn’t actually think you had dyed it grey. and i was able to see from your masthead that it wasn’t red.)

    now who was the tory commentator i saw on newsnight with a redtop?
    must have been the rant mists obscuring my vision.
    as usual.
    anyway, it’s great to have a rantee here with us. now… where’s ratzie?

  3. The right wing blogs are a huge source of unintended comedy (sometimes). The main event is not whatever the commentator blethers on about but the comments from the spittle flecked loons who hang about on them. My personal favourite is Mad Mel Phillips’ bonkersfest on her Spectator Blog which as the advantage that the blogger is plainly as fit to be tied as the commenters – more than some of them. The hyperzionism gets wearisome though – apparently anyone who criticises Israel is Julius Streicher minus the effusive charm and nuanced bits.

  4. Ah well, all you have to know is that conservatives are happier than liberals, at least in America (
    Must be the lack of critical thought. Or maybe the easier ranting. On the other hand I am enjoying Gordon’s utter uselessness-please keep it up for the Tory boys.

    How’s the law SW?

  5. just fine – last night i dined with 3 court of appeal judges and one test cricketer.
    of course!

  6. i know – and talldoc is very well aware of that, too.
    the judges and cricketer, however, were charming and self-effacing. i guess the more you have to say for yourself, the less volume you need to use saying it.

  7. Richard Daley looks like a blog. I am pretty sure three of the four prior mayors of Chicago looked like what you might equate with what a person with “blog” as a moniker might look like, looks like. There was Harold Washington and he looked like what you might call a “blog”. And there was Richard J.Daley-he looked like a “blog”. Jane Burn and that other interim guy who just died recently, oh yeah Sawyer, they didn’t look like what you might call “Blogs”

  8. hey fidel – even for you, that one’s good.
    i won’t ask you to break the butterfly on the wheel and explain.
    however i did read the last lines of paradise lost on a poster on the tube (we are so cultural they put pomes on the underground for us!) and i realised that milton is actually so fucking excited when they get kicked out of paradise. i hated it when i was younger. he was a regicide and when you get older i guess you start to understand. it was the best thing that ever happened to them; and us.

  9. Jabba the Hut looked like a blog, Edward G. Robinson, Ernest Borgnine, the guy who played Mr.Potter in “It’s a Wonderful Life”, all bulldogs, all frogs, giant salamanders, groupers, those big mouthed deep sea fish with the lit anglers, Howard Taft, Theodore Roosevelt, Winston Spencer Churchill, Abe Gibron(former coach of the Chicago Bears), and my all time favorite contemporary guy who looks like a blog- congressman Dingle from New York.

  10. I am sorry I meant Charles Rangle from New York, Dingle from Michigan hardly qualifies as looking like a “Blog”

  11. as if it needed saying! i would hope the readership knew that already, but thanks for adding clarity.

  12. readership
    twas betwixt l and r
    lander if the e be
    twas not and so
    since the b not
    dread naught
    Check English out like
    which if you add nothing like 0 or an o
    (zero or an “o”) you get good
    and dogs being so loyal what is the reverse
    or opposite?
    or knowledge, it helps if your standing on the ledge to know just where is the edge
    Shit like that- is German, or Spanish cool like that? How many puns are made in Farsi?
    So If I say I’m going back to the boathouse is anyone going to go there and string along? They’d have to check two posts to find me. Or maybe I’ll just promise to go looking for them. Sorry for rambling. Semi-Coherent. Lasers and light emitting diodes at specific frequency so watch your eyes, and digital audio vibrations at precise frequencies stimulating specific hairs in your choclea, don’t they get tired? watch your ears. Definition is dangerous due to fatigue and stress on individual mmmms. no?

  13. ….wow….the smiley face was just a bonus! wow! Is that what happens when you string a close quote and a closing parenthesis? wild!

  14. (zero or an “o”)

  15. ( zero or an “o” )

  16. got it.

  17. Hi Infidel and SW,

    If you can handle a real hangover that for me just doesn’t seem to end, forget alcohol, read this and weep. Well, read it anyway.

    Book Recommendation:

    Inverted Totalitarianism: A New Way of Understanding How the U.S. Is Controlled
    Review of Democracy Incorporated by Sheldon S. Wolin

    There’s an excellent review by Chalmers Johnson at Global Research: here


    If I’ve goofed up the code for the link above, it’s here …

  18. I must be immeasurably sucky to be in moderation for a week on a two bit* sex blog; a brit one no less, where sex is about as risqué as wine tasting and you can pretty much write whatever you want. Was it the prolixity?

    * two bits — mid-century slang for a quarter; yank money (25 cents)(0.157 euros if you spend it quickly, less tomorrow).

  19. okay, now my post from a week ago just vanished even from moderation. it was a book recommendation. i am abashed and chagrined.

  20. I’ve been forgiven my foolish ways!!
    And been allowed to REPOST:

    Hi Infidel and SW,

    If you can handle a real hangover that for me just doesn’t seem to end, forget alcohol, read this and weep. Well, read it anyway.

    Democracy Incorporated
    by Sheldon S. Wolin
    Inverted Totalitarianism: A New Way of Understanding How the U.S. Is Controlled

    There’s an excellent review by Chalmers Johnson at Global Research: here

    At least read the review. There will be a test — ongoing for the next decades.

  21. My Dear Zen,

    I hope my email addy has appeared with this comment thingie.
    What can I do you for?!

  22. “The most beautiful sound that I ever hearrrd”

    “maria…maria….maria…..maria…..MARIA, I just met a girl named MARIA”….

    “There’s a place for us, somewhere a place for us”…

    …”We’ll find a new way of living…We’ll find a way of forgiving….somewhere….somehow”…

  23. Dear Infidel,

    What have you done with our host? The one who was going to be a lawyer-dude or something.

    And your coded musings are exploding my brain. What the hell are you talking about? What’s this guff about forgiveness? We worship the ground you walk on, knock it off.

    I’m in love with the most wonderful woman at the center of the Cosmos who makes the sun and moon and stars. Even my dog Bodhi is worried I’m way too “girly” distracted and drifting far too close to the almost-human realm.

    It’s true. I’m shaving every day now. And wearing clean shirts.

    It’s wrong, I acknowledge. Deeply wrong. But it feels so good. What’s that about?

  24. Often a man who grows hair needs to harvest that hair, what he does with that hair reflects his…
    I don’t know where Simply has gone, I hope his travels are unfettered and joyous.
    You’ve never seen West Side Story??
    Any who. ehj2 Edward Howard Johnson the second, eh?what’s that ya say sonny?two. uh…e a ch jay too, Edgar Horatio Jansen second lieutenant. 2 j h e,
    What is this post, the bloody tories, a semi-coherent rant? If I play will you come back to us Simply?
    Sounds like the Proper Party being out of power has no shortage of libdem improprieties documented.
    I apologize to all humans for cartoons depicting the Prophet on behalf of Infidels.

  25. fear not, chums – i never left. i was rather snowed under by exams and the like and my current quest to get a job. no; i don’t think i would employ me, either. ‘there’s a job for us, somewhere a job for us’ yeah right!
    i am glad ehj is sitting under the tree with his dog (i assume you are under the tree) and dreaming of his love.
    i am glad infidel just is.

    as well as law i have been growing things: the earth has given me a rich crop of broad beans and i send both of you a huge, but virtual, bag bursting with the rough green pods. they are superb. my chillis are ripening in pots and the tomatoes will be with us in a month or so. i love stuff that grows. as do my two boys – the peas rarely make it as far as the kitchen and those that do are eaten by the cook and his/her partner. i wish i could stay in my garden, but i continue legal studies in september and have still to find a job for when the course ends next year. if i promise not to worry about it, i know one will find me. so instead i will content myself with wishing the best on my friends. i will compose a post for you…

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