i have been accused of not loving my regulars enough. and this despite the fact they are sufficiently few in number to allow me to feel (nay, demonstrate) a deep personal (if not actually moist) affection for each one.
you who write here are my brothers and sisters; you put up with my endless soapbox ranting about why i hate the tories, why things that annoy me slightly somehow threaten the existence of all worthwhile members of this species, and why cricket is the clearest expression of the eternal soul of humanity; you listen (virtually) without visible yawning or derisive laughter (please don’t feel you need correct me on this one) as i bang on about how the north east of england is the land of lost content where the sun always shines and happy naked children run carefree through the giant rhubarb native to the region; you smile good-naturedly as i regale you with efforts at amusingly quirky stories about ‘life’ or some such, about isinglass and drunken friars who never existed; you suppress your snorts of incredulity as i maintain that dylan can actually sing (and not in the same sense a tortured corncrake sings); you pick up things that are barely ideas and run with them to produce vast surreal screeds of narrative about … well frankly i couldn’t begin to say what.
you indulge the (for me) pleasant fiction that what i write has the slightest shred of significance. you wonder simply with me and together we whisper into the void. i am grateful. it’s good to know you all and you truly have my big hot sweaty love. is my tongue in my cheek? (mmfgh … gruggh … ahunngj … checks quickly) well only partly.
xxx – fidel, you have your answer.
and breaking news: the guy who nicked a bolivian spider monkey from chessington world of adventures (well that was an adventure) gets a year in prison – a tory councillor who prostituted a woman with learning difficulties (gratefully plagiarised this from sparklematrix) got a suspended sentence. so does that mean that the monkey is more or less important than that woman? hmmm tricky one.