ny favourite (of two) ‘he wishes for the cloths of heaven’
now that’s how you get nice traffic. none of that silly feminism stuff!
I’ll tell your Mum!
howay, man – she knows!!!! she’s one of them silly feminists – i thought you knew.
Nononono! She’s not a “silly” feminist, she’s a RAD feminist – surely you knew that?
dunno – wazza and dazza reckoned it was stupid…
i hate it when she does that – it’s like i’m seven or something
Waz and Daz are about 7 aren’t they?
‘two cocks up one arse’ has been my most popular search in recent days.
What was that you were saying about being “seven or something”?
Seriously needing some semblance of humanity here – before I go totally screaming mad.
Humanity? I’d love to oblige my dear but there’s not a lot about right now. Will I do? I think I’m human?
i’m a teenager – nobody even regards me as human – i should write a poem about it.
two cocks up one arse scares me – whichever of the bits i own…i can’t believe she mentioned it; thanks for the nightmares, mum. i’m going to grow up so bloody normal.
…and that’s the last thing we want, isn’t it…
blah blah blah – not even pretending to listen hmm hmm he hmm hunh hmmmm….
Shall i slap him for you WW? You being a pacifist and all……
Hey laddie divvint be hmm hmm humming with us feminists like! I just stabbed a rather large penis (plastic blow-up) and not to be messed with. We still have oestrogen surge from Saturday!
personally, i was marching to reclaim the shite on saturday
“personally, i was marching to reclaim the shite on saturday”
…along with the rest of the barmy army, eh? *tuts*
I’d beware the plastic penis puncturer if I were you – she can be lethal with a pen 😉
Not sure he warrants a slap Sarah, he listens to every word…
if the barmy army can still find it in their hearts to cheer a performance like england’s on the first 3 days of the test, there may perhaps be some merit in them.
or they could simply be barmy. our penises were truly punctured. i reckon it’s because we didn’t play our stupid indian.
(photos of sat looked excellent indeed – i could have improved on your schedule only by adding a late-night/early-morning espresso at bar italia) glad you enjoyed yourself.
oh, you know that thing you trod in as you tiptoed (staggered, more like) not particularly quietly into the front room – it was lazza. he forgives you because he says he is exploring the major texts of feminist thought and understands the ‘great task you were about’. i am not going to have him round again, he drank all the martini and sat in the corner reading your books by that bloody australian woman. i asked him whether she batted right or left handed; he did not laugh but looked at me a bit squinty. he is a pustule and only doing it as he thinks it will help him get a girlfriend. dazza lit his farts – he’s officially meta. wazza got pissed and wanted to burgle sarah’s house cos she was away too but he climbed out of our window and fell alseep in the garden.
go away more.
I’m increasingly liking you, m’boy 🙂
lazza…. that’s not a diminutive of lazarus, is it?
Hmm Sparks understands the burgle but not the lazza? if I have come into some sort of secret sort of conversation i will bow away gracefully, never to return. Aye he says… (epithingys) champion!
I wasn’t away. I had the police round at 1am Sunday morning and I ended up making them tea and giving a statement.
sarah – wazza says he never.
hope whatever it was it wasn’t too bad and now sorted.
sparkle – not a secret conversation but a bit impenetrable between ww (mum) sarah (her slightly less old and boring friend) and me (the future; and a misunderstood visionary with a penchant – that’s french – for potato waffles but not alphabites as they are for kids whatever sarah says). wazza, lazza and dazza are just some of my mates. they wear hoodies have interesting skin and grunt occasionally at their mobile phones, but they are ok really. (apart from lazza who reckons he is a radfem). dazza says he has agirlfriend but we haven’t met her. bit worried about mum’s drinking and whether i will get as old and boring as her one day. right – must go; i’m painting my bedroom black with razza (he is nuckle! offic).
Alphabites are so not for kids. In fact they’re not for human consumption. So they’re fine for you and your grunty mates then!
Have fun with the painting. Are you sure about the black though? It’ll make it dark. Won’t you be scared?
Oh and the police thing? A woman was assaulted outside my house and I paid the screaming no attention as that’s what the local “yoof” do most nights. I didn’t even look out of my curtains. I did think they were a bit louder than usual.
Anyway I had to make a statement and my car and bin were dusted for prints!
Feeling a bit shitty about it tbh.
‘fraid we’d have done the same – the number of 1.00pm fights in our street and the bus driver calling the police is legendary. and we can’t really afford to live here; it’s not like it’s a bloody ghetto!
and no i will not be scared, for ‘the honest heart knows no fear’ as henri of navarre said (college project)
I know. Still feeling shitty though.
a bit of guilt never killed anyone (unless they were up on a murder charge in a state with the death penalty); i feel the same – in london we are expected to have nothing to do with our fellow citizens and you always get a little charge of excitement when you do some tiny positive thing – that or some bugger stabs you…
Londres (that’s French too, you know) is an ill-mannered place if you ask me. Best visited only when they close Charing Cross and Tottenham Court Road to traffic so’s I can stroll down the middle of the road shouting things at the people.
Don’t feel too badly Sarah. Maybe your car and bin will yield vital clues/evidence to get the bastard into court.
i have never been in love with london. but i have enjoyed wandering round soho at 2am with a friend, having espresso in bar italia after seeing their show in the west end..or walking back home drunk to westbourne grove and hearing a nightingale. come to think of it, i only like this city when there aren’t so many people around.
where’s my bloody avatar?
“Don’t feel too badly Sarah. Maybe your car and bin will yield vital clues/evidence to get the bastard into court.”
Somehow I doubt it. I should have at least done the nosy curtain twitcher.
is that a dance from the fifties?
Ah, so this is where everyone is hanging out…
(ps, never anger Sparkle, esp with a pen in her hand)
Your avatar came home! whoohoo!
and even better stormy came to join the ‘fun’ (in a post modern ironic sense, of course)!!!!!!! welcome.
but am delighted with avatar – maybe will throw joint virtual party for stormy and my avatar. would anyone care to make suggestions for the guest list? stormy first as it’s your party…who would you like?
in fact i have a better idea – click over to today’s post ‘party time’ coming in just a few moments here at ‘there’s a place for us’ – the blog that actually gives a shit.
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